Today has been another bad day but that is not a surprise considering it is a non gym day. Lately I feel so demoralised on days I am not working out. It is ridiculous given that there is nothing to stop me from getting exercise therefore I must assume it is just a psychological reaction (as opposed to being addicted to exercise!). Again today, it was after weighing in that my downward spiral began. I cannot stay away from the scales so I am having them sent to my mums for a while. I will weigh in in town once per week.
It hasn’t helped that I have been laid up all day. When I woke up the small of my back was really aching and as the morning wore on it got worse to the point where I could barely walk. I havent really had any trouble in my leg since the day after I saw the doctor (except for the odd twinge) but the small of my back has been giving me trouble on and off. I am not convinced that I do not have Sciatica. I have all the symptoms of it and if it was just a pulled muscle in my bum it wouldn’t be giving me trouble in this way. And the meds the Dr gave me havent touched the pain either. So I had to spend most of today resting and just hope I am well enough to get myself through my review tomorrow.
I think I am going to discuss these problems with my instructor because pain is always worse after a workout. And I am going to get a work out that I can do every day because I know if I work out every day that will set me up for the day. I am going to put myself out there to you guys by saying that I think a part of my problem with my lack of control over the food is loneliness. For one reason or another, I have been feeling this way lately. I live alone and am not close to any of my family except for my son. And I lost many of my friends when I got fat (you know how it is) and the ones I do have at the moment seem to have drifted away… and I work for myself from home so my gym sessions are really my only connection with people. Everything I am going through does make sense in my mixed up head.
In case you haven’t noticed yet, I’ve put a couple of pictures on my about page. The first one I weighed 266lbs, the second one about 240lbs and the third one 216lbs…
Groovy Babe 