I don’t where to start. I’ve been so up and down, more down than up, fighting with everyone and God knows what else. I don’t want to deliberate on it too much on an open blog but yeah life for Groovybabe is far from okay at the moment. Not feeling very groovy at the moment and I am certainly not feeling babe-licious!
Despite this, I have not forgotten my weight problems. I’ve not been controlling them very well though. I was doing well, lost about 4lbs last week and then I got down and it all went out of the window. I stopped weighing and my eating gradually got worse. At one point me and my son even made a lovely big chocolate cake. I dread to think of the calories involved in that debacle. I just felt so powerless to stop it. I was eating consciously thinking its the only good thing in my life at the moment. Which isn’t strictly speaking true but thats how it was feeling when I was binging.
When I look in the mirror I can see the weight I have gained in the last couple of months. My body is expanding again and I don’t like it at all. I’m scared I am going to get really big. But even as I am I don’t like my body at all. A few months ago I had so much confidence and was on top of the world because I was in control of my weightloss and it is all out of the window now and it is horrible to be so down on myself.
A friend came around for a coffee before and I was saying to her I think I need to get back into the gym. That is where I seem to go right. It is going to help lift the depression too. I am going to have to try getting my mojo for that back, I think.
I decided to get back on the scales today. I was scared, I was sure with the chocolate cake and the binging – not to mention copious amounts of alcohol last night – I would have put on about half a stone but I weighed in at 14.11, which is about 4lbs less than I expected – at least. So that has helped me to get back on the ww. I am doing it properly now. I am writing it all down and my points too. I just ate a stirfry, which will be low points and was oh so yummy.
Groovy Babe 