The Crazy

I planned on getting back into my routine this week. But this morning my sciatica was giving me trouble. It wasnt outright pain but there was quite a bit of discomfort (at least I have pinpointed the gym as the cause of it now) so I decided it would be stupid for me to run. I know if I did then I would end up unable to walk by the end of the week. However, I didn’t give up on the gym completely. I walked to the gym (an hour once I’d dropped my son off at school), did a weight training session for 30 minutes, then went shopping for another hour and a half and then walked home (45 minutes). So I think that constitutes enough exercise. I have decided to start listening to my body over the sciatica. I will see how I am on Friday and if there is no twinges or pain then I will do some running, but if not then I will repeat today. If I end up being able to jog only once a week then that is better than not going to the gym at all.

I am 14.4 for the second day in a row. I am not watching what I am eating at all, but I am not over eating either. I could be stricter to speed up the weightloss but I dont really feel the need for doing that any more. As long as the weight is declining by 2lbs per week, then I will plod along as I am.

I am going to beautify myself this week. I bought wax strips for my face today. I have never used them before so I hope they do not hurt!! I also bought a hair dye in chocolate brown colour. My hair is dark brown anyway (although not as dark as chocolate) but I need to cover up the greys. And I really suited the dark colour last time I put it on.

Post Workout

I was interested to see that today I have dropped a pound to 14.4 (200lbs, 90.7kg). Interested because I didn’t watch my food yesterday but did do a workout plus a long walk. Maybe exercise helps more than I thought.

Today I do feel better for having exercised yesterday. I was absolutely exhausted afterwards, but once I’d had seven hours sleep I noticed the benefits. I just feel better within my body. My complexion looks better today and my face, arms and stomach look tighter. I’m slightly less hungry today too, although a little more tired.

My sciatica did threaten to play up yesterday with a few twinges while I was jogging but so far I have not had a major problem with it.

I am at a bit of a loss as to what to do today so I think I will get the music on the go and do the housework, that should burn a few calories.

Working Out

I am exhausted! I went to the gym and worked out for 90 minutes plus I walked to the gym and back again (because I refused to pay public transport prices) which added another 45 minutes walking each way. Yay.

I ran and stuff. I also tried something different with the weight training. My old instructor told me to do lots of reps with low weights but I was chatting to a friend of mine who is an instructor herself and she reckons I’d be better off with less reps/higher weights. So I upped my weights to the next one up and lowered my reps from 4/20 to 3/12. This way I managed to complete the weight training, and really feel I am building strength. Yay.

I thought going back into the gym would be torture but it wasnt too bad. I think this is because I walked there, I already had a raised heart beat by the time I started. It wasnt until I got home that I became exhausted.

Weigh In

Just a quick post as I am heading off ina  minute.

It is weigh in day and I am 14.5, the same as last week. I havent been watching what I am eating so am seeing this as a victory. However, I need to step up my game.

I am just about to walk my son to school and then head straight for the gym. I can’t remember the last time I went, probably a month ago. It’s going to be hard work but if I don’t start going again now, I never will.

Incentive

This post is bought to you from Hangover City, LOL. Ha! Yes, I went out last night and actually I havent slept yet as my sleep is so rubbish at the moment!!

I am writing this with a hangover to demonstrate how on my mind all this weightloss stuff is. I really want to lose a bit more weight to take me to the next level but I have a reason for urgency now! And, yes, it involves a man! A very very lovely man who is one of my best friends in the world. A bit of back history.

I bet him in 1995 and instantly fancied him, but a generic experience with many fatties, he started dating my ultra gorgeous, slim and confident best mate. Me and said friend drifted apart while they were together (3 years) and because I’d had her brothers baby and we’d split up. Once my friend and her BF split up I was able to pick up a friendship with him. He always knew I had a crush on him, and he wasn’t interested because he is a self-confessed lover of petite girls, and I am anything but! But over the years we developed a very close friendship from this odd situation. We’ve had our ups and downs (my ego doesnt cope when he wants to date my girlfriends after that initial experience!) and actually last year I walked away from our friendship because he was flirting outrageously with my best friend and I could not cope with it. But when he realised I had cut him out of my life, and why, he rang me up and apologised for upsetting me, and told me just how much I mean to him. That was nice because he’d never said before. He also told me I mean more to him than a flirt with my BF and assured me I had nothing to worry about there. This is a guy friend who has no romantic interest but have gone to these levels to claim back our friendship. It meant the world to me. He now tells me how he feels all the time. Since we got back in touch we have become closer and closer. Don’t get me wrong, as much as I love him, this is not a romantic closeness (unless I am a size zero some time soon that is never going to happen!). We talk on the phone all the time and I cherish his friendship probably more than I do anyone else in my life. And I know I am one of his top peeps too.

He is my biggest supporter in everything I do, from pursuing guys I like, my career, my son and especially my weightloss. The last time I saw him (he’s relocated for work) I weighed 18 stone, having just lost my first stone. He is always asking for updates on my weightloss and when I talk to him when I am drunk I keep telling him he better not come on to me when I reach goal (I think thats wishful thinking more than anything else, lol). So I last saw him 4 stone ago, which was last summer. I keep on at him to come down and see me. But he says he has nowhere to stay so I have told him he can come and stay here. We did a deal that if I cook him meals he will come and stay, as he loves food. I told him he is in good company, LOL. So, to recap, I havent seen him since I was 18st. I am now 14 and I am going to try and arrange it so that he comes down for my birthday weekend, which is in the middle of March. So now I want to lose another stone for when he visits me! (Don’t worry, this is not about us getting together but just so I can get a few compliments, lol) I think it is a pretty good incentive!!!

We were chatting about weightloss the other night actually. He tells me that he thinks I am aiming too low as a final goal. He’s told me off about this more than once actually. I want to be 9 1/2 stone and a size 10. But he says that will be too small for my frame, that I will be too “bony”, LOL. He thinks I should aim for a size 12. But then in another conversation he will describe his ideal woman as weighing 8 1/2 stone!!! He amuses me, but I feel thankful for such a powerful insight into the psyche of a man!

On a different note, another side of me is fearful of losing any more weight. Loose skin is really starting to be a problem, to the point where I am self conscious about it. I worry that the more I lose, the worse it will get. But then I think I either lose weight and reach my goal and put up with saggy skin/have an op, or stay quite fat and still not be happy with what I have got. I dont really have much choice do I!!!!

So anyway I am back in the gym tomorrow, and back on weightwatchers and am really going to refocus myself and get to the next stage in time for his visit, and my birthday!! Wish me luck!!

Where I’m At

Hello. I am rubbish, I know. But I am thinking about weightloss, even if I havent been doing it. To be honest I have fallen out of doing anything really for a good few weeks. There are a number of factors as to why this has happened (such as sciatica, insomnia, laziness, life getting in the way) but ultimately the truth is I am rubbish and have let life get in the way. Albeit temporarily. I weighed in today for the first time since Monday and was pleased to see that I have maintained the same weight of 14.5, which given how much I have eaten and how little I have exercised is nothing short of a miracle.

I actually wanted to go back to the gym this week. Monday. But I had a personal crisis which meant that I didn’t. I would like to go today but I am really scared that it will set off my Sciatica and I won’t be able to go out tomorrow night. I love my Saturday nights out now, I live for the weekend. I havent been to the gym for a month really and in that time I have not had a single Sciatica issue. When I am regularly working out I cannot go two weeks without being dibilitated with the condition, the last time to the point where I could not walk for 10 days. So you see my fear? I will just have to start going again on Monday.

My weekends are so cool right now. I go out with friends, get drunk and make a fool of myself. It’s great! I am so much more confident these days. A few months ago I could not go out without having a panic attack and now… I don’t have panic attacks or anxiety anymore!! Where I go they have a photographer there and every week pictures show up of me under the influence on Facebook. It’s funny. Once upon a time I would have been absolutely horrified. Some times I look really dodgy in the pictures but more often than not it is me tagging myself in them!

I feel so much more confident in my skin. This is the feeling I was after from the beginning. Of course, I still have a way to go but I no longer feel that I am grotesque or someone who should not be seen in public. This has largely come from male attention, I have to admit. It is something I am getting a lot more of these days.  And even from guys that I actually fancy, too. Of course, it is guys I am not interested in who want to go the whole 9 yards, so I am just having fun enjoying the attention right now.

But feeling attractive again after not doing so for so long has its down points as well as it’s up points. Because I seem to have lost that urgency I had to lose weight. I still want to lose weight but I don’t think it is urgent so have become quite slack really. But I have been 14.5 for a month now, so I am thinking I need to go full throttle and get down to 13.5 now. I know I can do it, I just have to put the effort in.

I’m Back

Aloha. Hi. G’day. Bonjour! I am here. Last week was quite an emotional time for me with one thing and another and I needed a bit of a break from blogging about weightloss. But now I am here and feeling like I need to get back on the wagon.

I did not weigh in last week (although unofficially I went up from 14.2-14.9) so this morning I weighed in and logged my weight at 14.5. I have also started logging my foods in ww again, something I havent done properly for the best part of a month.

I am going to keep this short but I just wanted to let you know that I am still around and still going strong. Thanks for your support.

New Start

Today’s weight: 14.5
Yesterday’s weight: 14.8
Points consumed yesterday: ???
Exercise yesterday: 120 minutes walking

The weight is going down nicely again. I didn’t count points yesterday but I wasnt bad. I watched what I ate all day. Although I did give in and have a sandwich at 1am this morning, and fruit throughout the evening last night. But I am pleased with the rate it is reducing again. It would be nice if I can reduce it to 14.2 again in time for my weigh in on Monday, but I will not hold my breath as it is only 2 days away.

I am having a hard time getting back into logging my points. I don’t think there is much point today as I am out tonight and fully intend on having a good time (with drink, not food), and tomorrow I will have a hangover. I won’t over eat on either day though so with my fingers crossed I will see you for a good weigh in on Monday morning.

My foot is a bit better today. I have been very carefully trying to rest it as much as possible and I have noticed an improvement, so with any luck by Monday I will be raring to go. I am definitely seeing this Monday as a new beginning for many things: logging points, exercising, finding a new job…

Half a stone?!!

Today’s weight: 14.8
Yesterday’s weight: 14.9
Points consumed yesterday: ???
Exercise yesterday: 45 minutes walking

My appitite returned. I had one day of eating with abandonment (and heaps of exercise) and the next day I weighed in from 14.2 the previous day to 14.9! I had to do a double take! I thought I might be up 1lb, maybe 2. Three at a push. But half a stone???!! I guess it is because a lot of what I lost was water, but I hate using that as an excuse. At least today I am down a pound.

I havent been able to workout at all this week and it is really starting to annoy me. If it is not sciatica, it is something else. This time the muscles on the left side of my left foot are really inflamed. I can barely walk on it and when I do I am in so much pain. I think it may have resulted from running in non running trainers (sneakers) so I am walking in my other trainers that are more padded. Hopefully my foot will heal over the weekend and I can get back into the gym on Monday.

Talking of the weekend Ihave plans and I am excited for them! I just hope my foot doesnt hold me back too much!!

Weigh In 07/01/2008

Today’s weight: 14.2
Yesterday’s weight: 14.3
Points consumed yesterday: No idea – I ate an egg sandwhich, an egg in bagel and a crossant, and that is it.
Exercise yesterday: none

Weigh in – I am six pounds down from last monday. I am now 14.2, or 198 or 89.8. I am under 90kgs! I am in onederland! and with any luck this time next Monday I will be reporting that I am in the 13 era.

I went to the gym on Friday morning after all. I was bracing myself for all the New Years Resolutioners and there was only 2 people in the gym, and I was one of them. There was a notice up to say the PT is leaving now, the gym is really changing I dont recognise half of the staff there. I did some good workouts. My sciatic nerve started playing up almost immediately and it has made me really concerned that its going to get the better of my exercise intentions but I needed to work out so I ignored the discomfort and hoped for the best. I feared I would wake up the next morning unable to walk but that did not happen, thankfully. I upped my continous jogging from 10 minutes to 15 minutes. I always make sure I do 20 minutes worth of jogging so soon I will be doing my jogging stint in one go.

I should go to the gym today but I had a really manic weekend. As well as being out on NYE, I was also out Friday and Saturday night too. It was pretty good to have such a fantastic social life and I have made many more new friends through going out. And I get hit on pretty much as much as anyone else these days, which is fab. I also wore a UK size 14 top out on the weekend, much to my glee. My reason for laying off the gym is not because I am tired but because I feel sick and have a throbbing headache. It might just be remnants from the weekend, and I hope so, because that means tomorrow I can get back into it.