WeightLoss

I’ve been doing so well in the day time but it has still been going to pot during the night. Last night in the night I must have consumed 500+ calories. I thought the weigh in today would be a disaster. I started off 15.4, then went down to 15.0 and thought I’d be back up to 15.4 again but I wasn’t! I was down to 14.12!!!! So the concerted effort I am making in the day time must be helping me to lose weight. I am well happy.

I am reading that book about overeating as it arrived this morning. It talks about over eating as an addiction and I have to say so far it comes across as the biggest load of rubbish I have ever read. It might just not apply to me as I have battled the over eating mostly, it is just the night time stuff that relates to me but I am just not that impressed with it really. I will read the whole book though as it does have some informative stuff in it like about sugar being a drug. It suggests not looking at weightloss as a goal but as a side effect of healthy eating, which is all well and good but when you’re obese losing weight is not about looking better but about improving your health and she doesn’t really take that into account. She makes a lot of assumptions about fat people, predominately that we all want to lose weight to make other people like us more. And while that obviously is a factor in our motivation, it is certainly not my principal reason for weightloss (not anymore anyway). Anyway, enough on that book or I will wind myself up to the point where I can’t read it any more!!

Freedom

I have just read a fascinating article in Lighter Life magazine about freedom. It basically suggests that we all need freedom to thrive but it is what we do with that freedom that determines the success of us as individuals.

With freedom comes choices and limitations, which translates as respnsibility and it is how we cope with responsibility as people that matters.

Observers suggest obesity has come about through capatalist excess, and this is true. The sheer amount of food choice available to us in our developed human societies and the choices available for a lack of exercise has esculated in a rising epidemic of obesity. (I’m thinking Wall*e here, I am going to see it this weekend) This is because we are not dealing with the responsibility that comes with freedom of choice and have gotten greedy (not literally but in terms of choice we want it all).

We hear so often in our society about people not taking responsibility: men not wanting to settle down, parents not making their children go to school, teens involved in knife crime, high unemployment, junk food addicts… people want the freedom that comes from a free society but not the limitations that brings with it.

I think in order to be successful in weight loss then we need to accept we have the freedom to eat healthily or not, but know that we need to impose limitations on ourselves to help the freedom and weightloss to thrive. If we eat junk then that will hinder our success. Think of weightloss as society and food as the people within that society. In any society you have good and bad people; good people are free to come and go as they please and live their lives. Bad people need to be restrained and locked up and only released when they are under control again. Think of good people as healthy food. You are free to eat healthy food and you need to restrain and keep locked up in the supermarket junk food (bad people) until we know it is under control. Its a slightly complicated metaphor but I think it works.

According to Abraham Maslow, a renowned psychologist, there are 7 steps to freedom:

1. Physical – food, water, warmth and sleep.
2. Safety needs – protection, security and comfort.
3. Love & belonging – friendship, family and sexual intimacy.
4. Self esteem – competence, achievement, recognition and respect.
5. Cognitive – knowledge, meaning and understanding.
6. Aesthetic – symmetry, order and beauty.
7. Self-Actualisation – creativity, problem solving, personal growth and acceptance of facts.

I actually think that when we do not fulfil these needs within ourselves then we become lost in what it means to be who we are, we lose the ability to deal with choices that come with freedom in the right way and we become obese, and fail to keep ourselves happy. I think this is where the saying you need to sort the rest of your life out first and then weightloss will happen comes from. Of course I dont think it is as simple as that and you can lose weight and have that develop the self esteem to enable you to use your freedom wisely, but it certainly explains where I am coming from when I say obesity is a mental disorder.

Weigh In: 2.1: -6lbs

The weekend was an unmitigated disaster socially, but my weightloss could not have gone better! My appitite, helped along by a bout of nausea, is at an all time low. I am eating but only really my meals. I couldn’t ask for more.

Last week: 15.4/214lbs
This week: 14.12/208lbs
Loss: -6lbs

I guess a lot of it is water, but that does not matter to me. All I know and care about is that the scales are going in the right direction again, I am looking and feeling slimmer and am in control again. My stomach is MUCH flatter and my face is not so podgy. It is great!

Getting The Control Back

I am out of control. This week has been horrific for my healthy eating plan. Today culmulated in my devouring all sorts of junk in a futile attempt at fixing my emotional needs. But I was unhealthy to a turning point, I think. I have realised I have to do this, and take it day by day. Only I can gain control again. I remember when I took control the first time around. I did it, I found the strength from nowhere. I DO have it in me to lose weight, even when life is not going my way and it’s about time I took control again.

So for the first time in my life I have written my eating plan BEFORE I eat it. Here it is and yes it is quite stodgy and full of bread but I have to work it so my body can cope with small changes. At this stage if I manage to keep to the calories below it will be a successful day.

Breakfast – 7am

2 wholemeal toast, marg, jam (230 calories)

Morning Snack – 10am

45g Puffed Wheat, Skimmed Milk (200 calories)

Lunch – 12.30pm

Cheese sandwich, banana (350 calories)

Afternoon Snack – 2-3pm

Packet crisps(potato chips), home made veggie soup if needed (120 calories)

Dinner – 5pm

Sweet potato, veg, 2 sausages or a burger (350 calories)

Evening Snack – 7-8pm

Sandwich (250 calories)

This comes to exactly 1500 calories, which is a good amount to consume for my weight. I am also going to go to the gym tomorrow. No excuses.

I must…

I have updated my blog look again. Having trouble with my widgets admin page though so doesn’t look too fab just yet. Hopefully will all be sorted soon though.

Was doing good then got depressed again and put a few pounds on. Back on diet tomorrow though and hopefully will have some damage limitation for weigh in on Wednesday. Must just get on with it.

Went out at the weekend, was mental as usual.

Still not back in the gym, must do that this week. I have been exercising more though. Must drink more water and eat less bread.

I must lose weight. Period.

Seven Pounds Down

I really should update more often, I am sorry! This past week has been very busy though. Because I couldn’t go out on Saturday, I ended up going out Friday, then a flame from the recent past turned up that night too. I ended up going out Sunday too, and then on Tuesday I went to a Beck gig and last night (Wednesday) I ended up over town again! I didn’t drink last night though, I thought I should save my liver.

I have started to make sure I get out and about every day in the sunshine and that has really helped my mood. Dramas with The Boy are not helping me to stay too focused and happy at the moment but I am trying really hard anyway! My appitite has reduced significantly.

I had my first weigh in with wwonline yesterday and had lost 3lbs. This morning I am down another pound. But from my highest weight in recent times of 15.2, I am now 14.9 so that is a loss of 7lbs, or half a stone.

Where Art Thou?

Where is everyone? Comments have died!!!! If you’re reading please leave a comment as they really help!

I just re-signed to wwonline. I have been trying to diet this week and been semi-ok until I binged last night. I HAVE to get this weight off, no two ways, so I am back on wwonline where I can input as I go and get obsessed in doing so and hopefully get right back into it.

This week I have made a concerted effort to get out and about so that I lessen my depression and it is helping. I am still down but not dispairing quite so much. Amazing what sunshine and exercise can do for your mind, isn’t it?

So anyway, day 1 of ww and I am 14.13. I’ll feel successful with a 3 stone loss, satisfied with a 4 stone loss and happy with a 5 stone loss. But at the moment, if I can get through to next week and have lost a few pounds then I will be estatic. I need to get to 13.6 for my first 10%

Only Two Stones To Go

I am trying to write in here regularly, for myself and for you readers, so I know I am keeping up with the weightloss. It is sometimes hard to know what to write though, that I haven’t written about over and over in the past.

I did go out at the weekend in the end, I am weak! I can stay in but then I think of all my friends out having fun without me and I give in!! Oh well, it does do me the world of good. My spirits are usually high after the weekend.

More than usual at the moment because I weighed in at 14.12. When I started some time last week (I can’t remember which day) at my highest I was 15.2, so that is a loss of 4lbs. I cannot complain at all.

I am right in the weightloss zone too, at a point where not over-eating is fairly easy. It always takes some time to get used to but I am glad I am at that point again. I have a feeling this is going to be the time where I lose substantially again, too. I am so excited, mainly because 13.0 is not that far away and once I get to 12.14 I won’t consider myself “fat” any more. So, that is less than 2 stones to lose.

Back Again

Hello. I know, I have been awol. I am not even sure why really. All I can say is I have been going through a really hard time this last month, and although I have tried to diet, it has not really been at the foremost of my mind.

I joined weightwatchers but I couldn’t really afford to go and tried doing it on my own but it didn’t really work out very well. When I started I was 15.0 stones, I went down to 14.7 but ended up putting it all back on again. Yesterday I weighed in at 15.1 stones.

I have noticed my shape filling out again when I look in the mirror. I am developing that rounded, obese look again and I really don’t like it. I have been compulsively eating, feeling unable to control it. I have felt devoid of energy, which means my exercise regime has suffered. Severe insomnia has not helped matters either.

I went to the doctors a few days ago and he says I am clinically depressed and I have been put on a course of anti-depressants. I am normally very against using these for myself but I have gotten to the point where life is just getting the better of me and if I do not find a way to combat it then I am going to end up at 19 stones again. The tablets I have been put on also send me to sleep, so it should solve the insomnia issue, which I believe is half of the battle.

Yesterday I decided would be my first day on my healthy eating plan but that lasted until about 8.30am, LOL, when I started binging. I pretty much gave up after that. I woke up today feeling much more able. It helped that I did not wake up until 7.45am so the day starts a bit later. I had 40g cereal with soy(a) milk at about 9am, had an apple at 10am and at midday ate some home made vegetable soup I have made. I found getting through from breakfast to lunch really difficult, I think because I am so used to grazing, but the fact that I did not give in says I will do this. I just have to get through the afternoon, I may have a wholemeal muffin midafternoon, and then dinner and I will take my sleeping pill/anti-depressant at about 7pm. That will work well because evenings are my worst time for comfort eating.

I have decided to have some time off from going out. I do enjoy it but the dramas that come with it are really getting me down. I need to rid my life of all stress at the moment and this means having me time. I just want to concentrate on getting well again and losing some weight.

I just wish I could exercise again but I have a bad shin (its always something!). A few days ago my right shin started hurting to the point where I could barely walk. The dr says I have been walking on it too much and I need complete rest, which is horrible because I like being active. He thinks it may be because I started wearing flip flops and my toes have been trying to grip.

Weigh In Week 2

Two weeks into my serious weightloss plan and I am going at a slow and steady pace, which I am happy with.

Starting weight: 14.12 /208lbs
Last week’s weigh in: 14.7 /203lbs
Today’s weight: 14.5 /201lbs

This week has seen a number of highs and lows so let’s see the good and the bad in view:

Good

• I have managed to lose a steady pace of 2lbs this week.
• I have started introducing more exercise to my daily activity again after my recent lethargy (don’t feel so tired any more).

Bad

• I havent been logging what I eat and drink every day.
• I have not been drinking enough water.
• I didn’t go to the gym.
• I didn’t blog every day, mainly because no one was commenting and I lost interest!

I am really happy with my progress so far. I have lost half a stone since I started, which is pretty cool. If I do that 3 more times, I will be 2 stone less and no longer “fat”, it really doesn’t take an awful lot of effort once you get into the swing of things.