Quiche

I have been doing a lot of thinking about why, when I lose control, this happens? Am I greedy? Am I emotionally weak? Am I a junk food addict? One can never really know the full answer to this situation, just learn by their triggers and try to be better the next time.

Since I have been back on the ‘wagon’, I have been getting progressively better at handling my food. To the point of losing 6lbs in the first 5 days. That suddenly changed yesterday when we had quiche for dinner. To clarify, this was not homemade from fresh ingredients, it was a frozen quiche from the supermarket.

Within an hour of eating the quiche I felt a really strong need to eat and eat and eat. This was rather odd given I had just eaten a large meal and didn’t, previously to the meal, have much of an appitite at all. I resisted and resisted until about 9pm when I ended up giving in and having a one egg omelette inside a pita and then a bowl of cereal. Normally my binges are much bigger so I think I handled it well but still, the cravings seemed to come out of nowhere.

I woke up this morning ravenous. Given I ate before I slept I should not have been hungry for hours after waking. But I had a cup of tea and two toast, with marg and Jam. But I was still hungry and ended up having 3 weetabix and 2 more pieces of toast with another cup of tea within the hour (!). I told myself I would not have anything else until dinner. I had a nap and when I woke up I was hungry still. I managed to hold off until 12.30 when I made myself some plain noodles with a tin of tuna.

After eating that my hunger really subsided. Its now 3 hours since I ate the tuna and noodles and I am still not even remotely hungry. I think I am back on track. I am thankful it lasted less than 24 hours but it makes me realise just how powerful the chemicals are in junk and processed foods (such as the quiche) and how eating the right foods (such as plain noodles and tuna) can help to control appitite.

I think half the battle is in realising this.

On a side note, I have set up a challenge page for a little competition I am running to lose 10% of our body weight. It’s only me and Tigerlily at the moment so please join up!

wwonline

I weighed in this morning and was the same, 15.4 stones. Initially I was not impressed, I’d hoped – and thought – I would see a pound or so fall, after all I *have* been trying hard! But then I thought again and realised this is no bad thing. For the past 5 dayas before I started again I put on half a stone so the fact that I am maintaining does show a difference. I just think the scales do reflect eating behaviour. I have been much better but I havent been fantastic. Mostly though I have managed to restrict my appitite somewhat and that is a good thing.

Today I feel strong enough to go back onto wwonline so that is what I have done. I had a lay in today so didn’t eat until quarter to twelve so allowed myself a bigger than normal breakfast. I had an apple, a banana, 2 wholemeal bread with marg and jam. (5 points in total) The only thing missing was a cup of decaff tea, but I didn’t think of that until I was mid-way through my toast.

Today is Saturday, which means one thing. Party time! Actually I am not sure what is happening tonight yet, I am waiting on my friend and her ability to get a babysitter. But if I do go out I think I am going to stay away from beer. I have one left in the fridge so I will have that but then I will change to Malibu and diet coke, I think. I used to drink vodka and diet coke but that is 1 point per shot and Malibu is only half a point. So in theory I could have twice the amount! I will limit myself to 6 though, like I used to in the good old days when I was successful at dieting.

I am back on Xenical again today. I am just much more successful at not binging when I know I will suffer for it, so hopefully that will help. I have 12 days supply left, so I will see how I go with that and go back to the nurse for more if need be.