I Love Your Skirt!

Hello. Feeling a bit worse for wear today. All self-inflicted though!! I weighed in at 14.5 today (I was 14.9 yesterday), don’t you just love hangover weigh ins?!! Shame it’s likely to be up again tomorrow…

I have been feeling (and looking) crap lately. I get fed up not having any new clothes and I was window shopping yesterday (always a bad idea with money in your purse) and came across this most gorgeous skirt EVER! I walked away because it wasn’t cheap but it was all I could think of. I ended up going back to buy it reasoning that I never spend a lot on clothes and I never find a piece of clothing I like this much (I am soooo fussy because I am paranoid about whether I look okay in it) and I was depressed and ergo deserved it! It turned out to be such a great buy! When my friend, L, arrived before we went out she was amazed, she loved it so much!! She told me it was slimming too (I don’t think it is). I started getting paranoid that it made me look fat and then my other friend, J, arrived and was really very full of compliments about it too! I loved that it was a different look for me. Normally I am all in black but this skirt was like a grey/khaki colour and in a gypsy style. When I was in the pub I got lots of compliments too. Even this guy I have liked for agggges who I have known about a year and has never passed a compliment to me before told me “you look really nice tonight, Groovybabe” (well, obviously he did not refer to me as Groovybabe, that would have been more than a little alarming!) I asked him if he was joking around, winding me up etc and he said he was not “I am paying you a compliment; compliments where compliments are due, you look lovely tonight”, he said and added “I really like your skirt, is it new?” WTF a man (I like!) complimenting AND noticing my clothes!!! I told him it was nice of him to notice!!! I do love my skirt. I wish I could wear it out every weekend!!!

Confidence

I widgetized my sidebar and it messed up the background and looked funny and I couldn’t work out how to fix it so I have taken off my colourful background image. 😥 At least it looks clean, I guess.

I went out last night and have vague memories of tequila shots and am feeling rather delicate so the fact that I am writing in here today now is testiment to just how serious I am about wanting to get back on track with losing.

I weighed myself just now and am still 14.9. It is starting to fustrate me a little bit now. I always always lose weight after a big night but I haven’t this week. Probably something to do with the lovely big burger I ate last night (before I went out) but it was delicious! I didn’t dance last night really so did not burn off calories but I did end up walking across the city at 4am on my own to get to my mums house because I lost my friends and had no money on me. I know! I was very scared but luckily nothing happened to me. Actually I ran for a quite a while too. W00t.

When I lost all that weight I felt so confident, I was untouchable. I really felt on top of the world. But the last few months I have started dating again and due to bad choices (when will I learn!?) my confidence has slowly been eroding. It hasn’t helped that due to boy-stress I ended up putting 10lbs on so when I looked in the mirror lately and could visably see those 10lbs around my waistline, my confidence has plummeted further. The last few weeks I have got my mojo back, and my sense of equilibrium, so I have slowly been re-gaining control of what I eat. But the thoughts I have when I look in the mirror these last few days are quite worrying. I haven’t felt this bad about myself (well, my look) since I weighed 19 stone. I really don’t know what I can do about it other than to start losing weight again (don’t bother telling me weightloss on its own won’t bring confidence – it does!) so I need to get really serious about this. REALLY SERIOUS.

Here are my intentions:

• Stick to 1600 calories, or less.
• Do NOT eat during the night. Ever.
• Drink 2-3 litres of fluids every day.
• Some form of exercise every day.
• Gym 3x a week.
• Weigh myself daily.
• Write in my blog daily.
• Keep my food diary updated.

I am also going to the doctors tomorrow for a blood test. I have been feeling wiped out for weeks now and it is not only intefering with my exercise plan but my life in general. I don’t think it can be anything too serious as I have not had it affect my weight but I think it is a good idea to get these things checked out.