Eating Less

So, I am back on here for the meantime. So please update your rss feeds! I will be back on my domain very soon though so might be an idea to keep both feeds.

I am so poorly!!!!! I think it is hayfever rather than a cold because I just had Lemsip and it hasn’t done a thing. You hear the word ‘hayfever’ and think it’s something not real but believe me it is horrible, you feel really ill. I keep being determined to go to the gym but when it comes to it I just don’t have the energy. I am so scared of getting out of it again but I have to rest while I am not well, I just hope the pollen count goes down soon!

My eating has been getting so much better lately. Not only in amounts but in quality of food too. I am still struggling at night at the moment, last night I had 2 large bowls of cereal through the night but at least it is not sandwich after sandwich as I don’t have any bread in the house now we’re on school holidays. I am thinking of downloading the Paul McKenna Think Yourself Thin hypnosis audio, as I have heard good things about it and I think hypnosis may help with this night time problem. Has anyone used this? What do you think?

I have just ordered Eating Less: Say Goodbye to Overeating by Gillian Riley as I have heard a lot of good stuff about this book around the web. She also has a stop smoking book and people are saying her methods and theories are in a class of their own. And frankly if it can help me to over come my overeating then it will be worth every penny of the £5.99. I am a bit worried that reading about food will cause me to want to overeat through thinking about it but I am hoping this will not be the case and I will find the book thereputic. I will let you know.

Full of Cold

I had a good day yesterday with food. I managed to find a way around night time eating. I ate around 1000 calories during the day so that I had another 400 to play with during the night. Obviously, night time eating is not ideal but at the end of the day what matters is the amount of calories over all. I probably ended up going over by about 200 but that is much better than going over by 700 like I normally do!

Last week I had a good week and lost 6lbs but then over the next day or two I ended up putting it all back on again and returning to 15.4. A lot of that loss was through dehydration so it was not a complete surprise it went back on but there were binges involved. I have been exercising this week and I think that is helping but I have gradually been getting better and am down to 15.0 today. I feel so achieved with this because it has been slower and I know it is more likely to stay off. It encourages me not to binge too.

I have eight weeks until I am going on the cruise, which, at 2lbs per week, means I can lose 16lbs for the trip. This means I will weigh 13.12 stones. Getting into the 13’s has been a goal of mine for probably six months now, so I am just really going to go for it. I want to go work out this afternoon but I am full of cold today and I am not sure I should or whether I will achieve anything.

My hosting is running out on here today and I am too broke to pay for it again this week so the site may be down for a week or so but in the mean time I will write in http://groovybabe.wordpress.com

I’m Going On A Cruise

I have a new incentive to lose weight. My friend has just won an overnight stay on a cruise ship and she has asked me to go with her! We sail from Southampton to Brugge (Belguim) overnight, stay in Brugge for the day and then head back. It is in September. I cannot wait. Everything onboard is free except for alcohol, and we plan on finding some mugs nice young men onboard to fund that! I have to buy a nice new posh outfit so I want to lose some weight and look great! I am going to get a new ‘do and everything. I am so excited!

I had another manic weekend. It was good fun, met a new man but again I don’t think anything will come of it *le sigh*. Still, it was a fun time… Monday I was so worn out from the weekend excesses, it wasn’t really tiredness so much as a huge lack of energy. Tuesday I felt a bit better so I went to the gym. I didn’t have as much energy as I would have liked for my workout but I got through it best I could. Today I woke up with the flu so that explains my lack of energy lately. I am hoping it is just a 24-hour thing though so that I can go work out again tomorrow. I have my cruise to get slim for!!

I cancelled my wwonline subscription. It just isn’t working for me at all. I am up and down like a yo-yo. I am trying calorie counting again with weightlossresources.co.uk as I have had more luck with that in the past, so let’s see how I go with that.

I keep buying and eating strawberries, which in itself is not a bad thing. But according to Gillian McKeith they raise your sex drive and I really do not need mine raising any more than it already is! LOL

Meet You In The Kitchen At 3am?

A couple of months ago I talked about my night time eating. It was a problem then and it is still a problem now. This is intensified by the fact that I suffer from insomnia. But I tend to wake up in the night and half-consciously go and eat, go back to bed, wake up a couple of hours later and repeat the behaviour. This can happen between 2-4 times per night and I don’t know why. I am being so good in the day time and yet including my night time eating I am only just maintaining my weight. I have tried everything I can think of to counter this behaviour. It happens more on sleeping tablets than off then but it is a rare night I don’t eat at all.

I was chatting to my cousin about this at lunch time today. She suffers from it too, we both agreed our rate of loss would be better if we could combat this. We have tried telling ourselves not to do it before going to sleep, having only healthy food around, eating before going to bed, having breakfast but nothing solves it. So I was wondering if any of you have suffered with this and overcome it and if you did and have how did you get past it?

I went to the gym again today. I am so glad I am back into working out, it makes me feel so good. I ran for 10 minutes today and found it fairly easy to do so. I felt so great afterwards, and the weight training is making me feel stronger again.

I eat too much bread, out of all my food vices this is by far the worst. I have gotten into the habit in the last week or so of having a one-egg omelette inside a wholemeal pitta bread, coupled with margarine, this becomes quite calorific. Today I decided to forego the pitta and I had the omelette with a side salad I prepared instead and over halved the calories involved. I felt better for it too. My son is on summer holidays now so I do not need to buy bread for the next 6 weeks, so once the bread we have has gone I am going to try not to eat it at all for a while. It might help de-bloat me if nothing else. What is your food vice?

Good Days

I have been thinking about going to the gym for ages; for the last seven weeks that I haven’t been there, in fact. There have been a variety of reasons. First off I stopped going because I was suffering from suspected anaemia, where I literally had no energy at all. Then when I got my energy stores up again I suffered from a sprain on the front of my right calf, meaning I could barely walk at all. Then I got depressed, then insomnia was raging making fitting it in with my responsibilities hard, then depression again and finally just pure laziness.

During times when I could go, I just had no mojo to do it. You know what it is like when you get out of exercising, getting back into it is almost impossible. The mind plays tricks on you, convincing you that you don’t want or need to go. In fact, last week I decided to cancel my membership. That would have taken the decision out of my hands, wouldn’t it?!!

The last couple of weeks I have been trying to get serious about weightloss and everytime I have a good start initially I end up destroying the good work. Take this last week. I lost 6lbs then the next day end up binging. I then binge for 2 days before trying to get back into it. This morning when my son told me he was too embarrassed to have me at his sports day it hit home that I am really not taking this seriously enough. When I was successful at weightloss before it was because I was so totally focused that everything else came a poor second. I never once tried to fit healthy eating and exercise into my life, my life fitted in around those things and I had to get that back.

I am not going to lie, it was my sons comments that gave me the kick up the bum I needed to get back into the gym. But it was the kick up the bum that I needed. For ages I just completely lost my confidence and didn’t feel I could even go in the gym, thats how low I felt about myself. But I was being silly. I rang the gym today before I went in to make sure my membership was okay as I havent been for ages and they were really friendly so it was all good.

I thought I would have completely lost my fitness after seven weeks off but I was surprised at just how much I could do. I walked to the gym, which takes 45 minutes, plus I had a few errands to run, so I classed that as my warm up. Then I did 15 minutes on the XT, at between 8-10 speed. Then I stretched and did 20 minutes on the treadmill with Interval Training, 7 minutes of which were jogging. I then did some weight training. I couldn’t do the full weights I normally do because my arms are killing me from playing too much wii the other day, but I just dropped a weight on each and it was fine. I then did some sit ups, stretches and did my 45 minute walk home.

I have been very good with food today. I have logged everything and it is 9pm and I have 7 ww points left yet, so it is all good. I came out of the gym feeling so euphoric, so much happier and quite a bit more confident, actually. It is really helping me to manage my eating habits too. Early days but hopefully good days.

You Lazy Mare

I was getting back on track yesterday but then I made the mistake of going to the shop before dinner… I only had a twix and some rainbow drops but it set the precedent for the rest of the evening and it ended in distaster. I figured today was a new day.

This morning I discovered that my son (who is just hitting his teens) purposely didn’t invite me to his sports day because he is embarrassed by me. After some investigation I found out it is because of the way I look, because I am fat….

It is interesting because I know I am fat, still technically obese, but considering I have lost so much weight I dont really think of myself as such. But I know I am.

But this is going to spur me on. I mean, I have a lot of reasons for wanting to lose weight – to look good, to be healthy, to be seen as attractive to others… but if nothing else it is worth making my son proud to have me as his mother. I have been good today so I am back on track now. I am about to have a wholemeal pitta for lunch.

I am currently trying to argue with my inner lazy self about whether to go to the gym today. I didn’t have much sleep so am trying to convince myself that I am too tired. Plus my right arm is hurting from playing too much wii the other night, but the other side is saying – you want to make your son proud? Then get to the gym you lazy mare!!

Excuse moi, for I need a wii!

I am at the tail end of day two. I havent been fantastic but I have been a lot better than I was. I’ve noticed my stomach has reduced a bit in size, my bowel movement have awoken (!) and my appitite is dwindling. This has got to be good. I didn’t weigh in today, I thought I would do it tomorrow hoping to see a bit more of a difference by waiting 2 days.

My mum came over with her wii and we (wii?) played wii sports, how exhausting! Tennis really works you!! I did the fit test and first time got 80 (!!!!) and then 58! I think I have to improve my fitness levels!

I got a letter from my gym saying my direct debit is going up inline with inflation. I think I am going to cancel my membership because I havent been going and I really can’t afford it at the moment. Maybe I’ll pick it up again in a few months. It’s summer and I live by the beach, I really have no excuse!

Getting The Control Back

I am out of control. This week has been horrific for my healthy eating plan. Today culmulated in my devouring all sorts of junk in a futile attempt at fixing my emotional needs. But I was unhealthy to a turning point, I think. I have realised I have to do this, and take it day by day. Only I can gain control again. I remember when I took control the first time around. I did it, I found the strength from nowhere. I DO have it in me to lose weight, even when life is not going my way and it’s about time I took control again.

So for the first time in my life I have written my eating plan BEFORE I eat it. Here it is and yes it is quite stodgy and full of bread but I have to work it so my body can cope with small changes. At this stage if I manage to keep to the calories below it will be a successful day.

Breakfast – 7am

2 wholemeal toast, marg, jam (230 calories)

Morning Snack – 10am

45g Puffed Wheat, Skimmed Milk (200 calories)

Lunch – 12.30pm

Cheese sandwich, banana (350 calories)

Afternoon Snack – 2-3pm

Packet crisps(potato chips), home made veggie soup if needed (120 calories)

Dinner – 5pm

Sweet potato, veg, 2 sausages or a burger (350 calories)

Evening Snack – 7-8pm

Sandwich (250 calories)

This comes to exactly 1500 calories, which is a good amount to consume for my weight. I am also going to go to the gym tomorrow. No excuses.

I must…

I have updated my blog look again. Having trouble with my widgets admin page though so doesn’t look too fab just yet. Hopefully will all be sorted soon though.

Was doing good then got depressed again and put a few pounds on. Back on diet tomorrow though and hopefully will have some damage limitation for weigh in on Wednesday. Must just get on with it.

Went out at the weekend, was mental as usual.

Still not back in the gym, must do that this week. I have been exercising more though. Must drink more water and eat less bread.

I must lose weight. Period.

Oh So Yummy

I don’t where to start. I’ve been so up and down, more down than up, fighting with everyone and God knows what else. I don’t want to deliberate on it too much on an open blog but yeah life for Groovybabe is far from okay at the moment. Not feeling very groovy at the moment and I am certainly not feeling babe-licious!

Despite this, I have not forgotten my weight problems. I’ve not been controlling them very well though. I was doing well, lost about 4lbs last week and then I got down and it all went out of the window. I stopped weighing and my eating gradually got worse. At one point me and my son even made a lovely big chocolate cake. I dread to think of the calories involved in that debacle. I just felt so powerless to stop it. I was eating consciously thinking its the only good thing in my life at the moment. Which isn’t strictly speaking true but thats how it was feeling when I was binging.

When I look in the mirror I can see the weight I have gained in the last couple of months. My body is expanding again and I don’t like it at all. I’m scared I am going to get really big. But even as I am I don’t like my body at all. A few months ago I had so much confidence and was on top of the world because I was in control of my weightloss and it is all out of the window now and it is horrible to be so down on myself.

A friend came around for a coffee before and I was saying to her I think I need to get back into the gym. That is where I seem to go right. It is going to help lift the depression too. I am going to have to try getting my mojo for that back, I think.

I decided to get back on the scales today. I was scared, I was sure with the chocolate cake and the binging – not to mention copious amounts of alcohol last night – I would have put on about half a stone but I weighed in at 14.11, which is about 4lbs less than I expected – at least. So that has helped me to get back on the ww. I am doing it properly now. I am writing it all down and my points too. I just ate a stirfry, which will be low points and was oh so yummy.