You Lazy Mare

I was getting back on track yesterday but then I made the mistake of going to the shop before dinner… I only had a twix and some rainbow drops but it set the precedent for the rest of the evening and it ended in distaster. I figured today was a new day.

This morning I discovered that my son (who is just hitting his teens) purposely didn’t invite me to his sports day because he is embarrassed by me. After some investigation I found out it is because of the way I look, because I am fat….

It is interesting because I know I am fat, still technically obese, but considering I have lost so much weight I dont really think of myself as such. But I know I am.

But this is going to spur me on. I mean, I have a lot of reasons for wanting to lose weight – to look good, to be healthy, to be seen as attractive to others… but if nothing else it is worth making my son proud to have me as his mother. I have been good today so I am back on track now. I am about to have a wholemeal pitta for lunch.

I am currently trying to argue with my inner lazy self about whether to go to the gym today. I didn’t have much sleep so am trying to convince myself that I am too tired. Plus my right arm is hurting from playing too much wii the other night, but the other side is saying – you want to make your son proud? Then get to the gym you lazy mare!!

Getting The Control Back

I am out of control. This week has been horrific for my healthy eating plan. Today culmulated in my devouring all sorts of junk in a futile attempt at fixing my emotional needs. But I was unhealthy to a turning point, I think. I have realised I have to do this, and take it day by day. Only I can gain control again. I remember when I took control the first time around. I did it, I found the strength from nowhere. I DO have it in me to lose weight, even when life is not going my way and it’s about time I took control again.

So for the first time in my life I have written my eating plan BEFORE I eat it. Here it is and yes it is quite stodgy and full of bread but I have to work it so my body can cope with small changes. At this stage if I manage to keep to the calories below it will be a successful day.

Breakfast – 7am

2 wholemeal toast, marg, jam (230 calories)

Morning Snack – 10am

45g Puffed Wheat, Skimmed Milk (200 calories)

Lunch – 12.30pm

Cheese sandwich, banana (350 calories)

Afternoon Snack – 2-3pm

Packet crisps(potato chips), home made veggie soup if needed (120 calories)

Dinner – 5pm

Sweet potato, veg, 2 sausages or a burger (350 calories)

Evening Snack – 7-8pm

Sandwich (250 calories)

This comes to exactly 1500 calories, which is a good amount to consume for my weight. I am also going to go to the gym tomorrow. No excuses.