It Points Out My Fat

I am 4lbs down since Monday. I can see it in my face. I feel much better for eating right, inside. I feel in control. There are so many positives from doing this. I am really proud of myself for managing to do it this week of all weeks because my life has been dramas ahoy (just for a change) and I have at all times stuck rigidly to my weightloss plan. This tells me this time I am going to do it again. I am quite excited by this. I can’t wait to start getting comments from the people in my life who only know me at this weight. I can’t wait to hit the ever elusive 13 stone era (although that will be a few weeks away yet)…

You know what I am really looking forward to? When I hit the 12 stone era because I do not consider that to be fat, just overweight. Hopefully others will not consider it to be fat too. It’s also going to be easier to reap the health benefits of weightloss now I weigh less to. After all it will take less pounds to reach a ten per cent drop…

I bought a jean skirt yesterday. It’s the first one I have owned for maybe ten years. I bought a size 16 because that is what I am, but I somehow convinced myself that there was no way it would fit me because I am kidding myself if I think I am a size 16. But of course it fitted me, because I AM a size 16 (UK, remember). However, it was quite tight fitting and while I think it is passable in the day time I would not feel confident enough going out on the pull in it. It points out my fat, or at least I feel like it does. So I guess I am back to the drawing board about tomorrow night.

Talking of tomorrow night, I am giving up beer again. I am going back to sticking to diet coke and vodka. It didn’t do me any harm in the past and will help me to lose weight.

(Oh can I also point out to those of you who have misunderstood – xenical is NOT an appitite suppressant. It blocks 30% of the absorption of fat from being digested into your body, meaning your body turns to the fat stores you already have quicker to burn off, that is all.)

So Many Psychological Boosts!

I am so tired I cannot believe I am even writing this – that is dedication for you! I woke up after only 5 hours sleep at 7am and was in the gym by 8.30am!! I think I am crazy. What other explanation is there?

I had a really good work out, once I got going. There was not actually anything I wanted to do less at 8.30 this morning but I went ahead regardless. The XT was just TORTURE. I am so over that eveil machine! But then as ever I got right into the jogging side of things. I did 15 minutes jogging today, something I am quite pleased with. I also restarted my abs work because since I have stopped doing it my stomach has… well the only way I can describe it is that my stomach has collapsed. It’s just hanging whereas although it’s still big it was held in before. My jeans were a bit tighter. So I did my sit ups again. Since I’ve stopped doing them the Sciatica has almost disappeared (only one attack in two weeks) so I thought I’d see how I went. At the end I did feel a twinge running down my right leg but it went away once I left the gym.

As I was leaving the gym my instructor gave me a card. On the outside it said, “Well done, You’re a star”. Inside, it reads: Well done! 4 stone down and looking amazing. Keep it up hunny, you’re doing excellent! Keep it up I know you will reach your goal very soon! xx.

How lovely is that?

After the gym I met a friend for lunch. I had a chicken fillet burger because their options were limited. I left the two fried onion rings and the cheese but ate the rest. For the last few hours my stomach has been killing me. I’m not sure if that is down to such a big lunch, the white bap that came with it (or the rich sauce) or whether it is down to to my abs work. It could be TOM too. It hurts so much that all I had for dinner was a bowl of vegetables I’d cooked. The calories should even out, if nothing else.

I’ve walked so much today! I even ended up at my sister’s. I haven’t seen her really for ages, we’ve not been that close over the last few years. But I’d told her I lost weight in an email so she told me to give her a twirl. I had to take my massive coat off so she could see.

She was FLABBERGASTED. She couldn’t believe it. She was swearing like a trooper and telling me I have lost so much, saying she couldn’t believe it. She was truely shocked. And she kept saying that it just goes to show that it can be done. That on the same day as getting the card really gave me the boost I need.

Next week I am going to see the relies in London. I haven’t seen them since Easter so I am trying to be extra good this week to get that extra bit off. It would be brilliant if I could be in the 14’s when I go up there.

Talking of weight, remind me not to give up the scales. I always go on a slippery slide when I don’t weigh in. I know this and yet I always want to test myself. To be fair, I did need to give up the scales for a bit because they were doing more harm than good but now I have lost the obsession I am back to weighing in daily. Why, you ask? Because I was 15.3 on Sunday. Yesterday (Wednesday) I weighed in for the first time and the scale said 15.8!!! So I was extra good and they said 15.6 today. I’m confident they will go down again tomorrow. At least I hope so. I have had enough of losing and regaining the same few pounds! If I’d kept losing those pounds I’d be in the 13’s now!

Anyway I have to work extra hard this week for going to London and then we will work hard in London as I have to set an example to the family! Hopefully I will be in the next stone down sooner rather than later.

Right now the last ever episode of Scrubs. JD & Eliot 4evah!

Work in Progress

I’m not quite at the 50lb loss so no real pictures but I thought it would help to see a difference in some way. In some way I think you can see a big difference and in other ways it seems subtle. What do you think?

Progress report: Been good all day, gone slightly over on my calories (about 1700) but I haven’t had any bread all day! This is really quite something for me! At lunch when I normally have bread it was quite hard to go without but as the afternoon wore on I found I felt so much better without it in my system. And now at after 7pm, I really feel a ton healthier and much more confident in the weightloss thing again.  I’m just going to have a low cal hot chocolate and watch some tv and rest up for my mega workout tomorrow!

Because You’re Ugly.

Today is the first time I have looked in the mirror and thought, not just wow, but WOWWEE! LOL! You can really see my shape emerging, less blob more just overweight!

I am getting soo many comments from people, they are really coming in thick and fast. I turned up at my best mates last night after not seeing her for 2-3 weeks, wearing my tight fitting old-new jeans that I can now wear, and a top I bought the other week – both in UK size 18’s – and she was omg look at you, you’ve lost LOADS!!!!! And she doesn’t part with comments easily.

Today I saw my brother who is normally so absolutely blunt about what he thinks about my figure. The things hes said to me in the past have had me in tears and at one point caused us to have an actual fist fight. But he was like ‘you’ve lost a hell of a lot of weight compared to how you used to look’.

Even my mum yesterday was like you’re doing REALLY well with the weightloss arent you?!!!

So if any of you wonder at what point people start to really notice, then I can tell you its at 43 pound loss, LOL!

I am having some trying times in my real professional life right now so I went out to let off some steam last night. I am surprised I do not have a hangover with the amount I put away last night, and the fact that I drank on an empty stomach because I’ve had no appitite for a few days now. Anyway. Last night was the first night that I felt any semblence of confidence and would have been open to meeting a man. The first time in seven or eight years (I stopped counting at five). Then later on that night, and this is almost too funny to publish, I asked a friend of a friend if he had any fit mates and he told me he had plenty but none of them would be interested in me because I am ugly! This is coming from a guy who a few weeks back seemed like he’d do anything to get close to me, LOL!!! I was in shock when it happened, and don’t worry I gave as good as I got, and all his friends went mad at him and said it wasn’t true so he got pay back but now I am just like hahahaha that is hilarious, coming from an oil painting such as him!

But I feel sooo good about my body right now and that is all that matters. I am well on my way to those 50lb losses I talked about and the er, um, before and after pictures I promised. I have to say though it will be a brave day I publish my fat pictures, they make me want to cry!

Weigh In (Week 12)

So, three months in and this week sees a massive weightloss of 5.75 pounds! I am not even sure how I managed it given that this is the week I have found hardest to control food wise, so it must be all the extra exercise I am getting! Click here to see my stats.

Yesterday morning I was in an awful mood about my weightloss. Do you ever get those days where you look in the mirror and despite huge successes all you see is fat fat fat? That was me. I was looking in the mirror and all I could see was really chunky legs and a massive midriff…. so when I went to meet my instructor I was not in the best of moods so just more quiet than normal. She went through my measurements and I have lost a further 8 inches, so with the 11 inches from before that is 19 inches in total. I have also lost 17lbs since my last review six weeks ago. No mean feat, in fact she told me she has been there a year and has never seen anyone with such good consistent losses as me, that she is really amazed by my efforts and kept saying she doesn’t need to motivate me as I am already as motivated as I need to be. I was just like blah blah nothing I don’t know…in my head….while putting on a smile.

She did me a new programme where she has really upped the anti! She now wants me to do 10 mins on the bike warm up and cool down plus 25 minutes on the treadmill and another 25 minutes on the cross trainer! On the weights we have agreed to give my biceps a rest and concentrate on my triceps, to try and get them more toned. I’ll continue with the leg press but am now doing sit up’s on the floor rather than with the abs crunch machine. It all sounds good, if a little hardcore. Talking of hardcore, we incorporating jogging into my treadmill workout. The instructor said to start with 2 minutes and build up to 5 minutes over the coming weeks but once she disappeared I found myself doing 2 minutes every 3 or 4 minutes, so yesterday during a 20 minute treadmill walk, I jogged at 7.0 for about 6 minutes! I’m not sure how good that is but I certainly enjoyed it – it broke up the monotony on the treadmill.

After that I had to rush across the city to the doctor’s surgery for my monthly check up with the weightloss nurse, although I haven’t been for about 7 weeks. I was a bit worried she’d tell me off for losing too fast, like she did last time (well more a warning than a telling off), but she didn’t at all, she was just really impressed and supportive. She was going to give me a kiddies sticker, lol, but I said I’d cope without one! She said it was really noticable on my face; that I’d lost the chubbiness in my cheeks and my face was more straight and pointy towards my chin. She also said she could see it in my body as I was sitting much more confidently and no longer huddling to hide my body.

You know, when you’re fat (skinny) people say that losing weight wont solve your problems or make your life any better but if you ask me that is a really ignorant opinion. Sure if you’re introverted you will always have that within your personality; if you’ve got debts they’ll still be there and if you have no friends they won’t magically appear with weightloss. But losing weight helps you to gain in confidence which means you are less likely to be self conscious and therefore less likely to be introverted, which means you’ll more likely make friends more easily. You’re also more active and up for doing things with friends. Plus it is so much easier to find friends willing to hang around when you’re not overweight. Whether that is due to your difference in personality (more introverted when fat) or a degree of how you look I don’t know but it is easier when you are slimmer. Plus your coping mechanisms are so much stronger when you’re slimmer and not constantly worried about what people think, so that with problems such as debts, you’re more likely to be proactive in sorting them out. So I would say losing weight, while not the answer to every problem you have, will go a long way to improving your way of life.

I’m getting there, slowly

Just back from the gym again (I made 3x this week!). I nearly never went today because I took a Nytol last night and it made my body feel really tired this morning (I slept 12 hours!) but I forced myself to and I feel so much better for it!

I didn’t go mad because I am going clubbing tonight and will dance heaps but I was averaging 60rpm on the cross trainer and 4.8 on the treadmill. I did go about my workout a bit different this time. I started off by doing the 10 min warm up on the bike then I went straight into the weight training. I meant to stretch after that but totally forgot and went to the cross trainer and treadmill. Then I hopped onto the bike to cool down (normally do stretches before I do that but didn’t) then I went on the toning tables for ten minutes as I had time to spare (can’t do the bum one – it gets me, er, excited;) and then did my stretching before leaving. I certainly felt better for it than I did during the last workout, but that could be because I didn’t go quite so mad. I really did notice I had much more energy when I got on the cross trainer after doing weights beforehand. I’d have even done longer than my 20 minutes if I wasn’t going out tonight.

Everyone who has a lot of weight to lose needs a good caring instructor and I think I have struck gold with mine. She is so lovely. She’s only in her early 20’s I think but she has the body that I want. If I could pick a body that I wanted, I would seriously pick hers! She’s just come back from holiday and she saw me working out and she really made a point of asking how I was etc even though she was in the middle of giving someone else a review. I think I got close to her telling me she can see a difference. “It looks like you’re doing really well,” she told me.

Those comments from her, as well as all the comments from you guys really spur me on and are a large part of the reason I am so successful. People think comments don’t matter but they make a huge difference to my state of mind, whether irl or online. So thank you.

Inch Loss Success!

I slipped this weekend. It was at the end of the night fri-sun night. Friday night I had the opportunity to go out but then my friend couldn’t get a sitter so it didn’t happen. I overate on fruit, feeling sorry for myself, but stopped before any damage was done. Saturday I just got hungry in the evening, not sure why and all motivation was out of the window. Sunday I spent all day in front of the computer because I started writing a new novel and then in the evening I was working on web design projects and I think my body got fustrated sat in front of the computer all day and with no exercise and I got fed up being hungry so I stuffed my face with too much healthy food. I probably averaged 2000 cals that day when I normally have between 1300-1600. Today I was up 3 pounds from my weigh in Friday. I know one of those pounds lost Friday was water weight so I’m only counting 2 pounds up really. But it’s no biggie, honestly.

Well, it might have been had I not gone to the gym today. I woke up this morning and I wasn’t that hungry (I never am if I overeat the night before) but I had breakfast about 10.30. I then had to get ready and go meet my gym instructor for a 6-week review and a new programme so I didn’t have time for lunch before I left. I had my meeting with her (results in a minute) and then did the new workout before leaving. I had to get someshampoo and body creme before heading home and then I had a sandwich when I got in. It is now 17.30 and I have eaten about 500 calories and have probably worked that away at the gym! I’ll lose those 2 pounds by tomorrow, probably.

So, I had my measurements done and I have lost 11.5 inches from my entire body in the last six weeks. I’ll put my exact measurements up on my stats page in a moment. I am so happy! I was saying to Betz this morning that I was worried I won’t have lost any inches and it’s all in my imagination, LOL.

My instructor was really impressed when she saw my weight and then even more so when she saw the inches. She kept saying that she was proud of me over and over. She is so sweet – and has the body that I want! haha

I got an updated workout too, which is better for me now my body is used to the old one.

Old Workout
15mins bike warm up, L2 60 rpm
Stretches
15 mins cross trainer L2 50 rpm
15 mins treadmill 3.0+ incline 4.0 speed
5 mins cross trainer again (couldn’t do this in the beginning)
Upper + lower body conditioning with the weights on alternating visits
Lat pull 10kg 2/15
Chest press 15kg 2/15
Bicep curl 5kg 2/15
Tricep curl 6.25kg 2/15
In and out abductor 20kg 2/15 each
Abs cruncher 10kg 2/15
Stretches
15 mins cooldown bike L2 60 rpm

New Workout
10 mins bike L5 80-90 rpm
Stretches
20 mins cross trainer L3 55-60 rpm
20 mins treadmill 3.0+ incline 4.5 speed
Upper & lower body condition alternating visits
lat pull 15kg 3/15
Chest Press 10kg 3/15
Bicep and Tricep curl 5 + 6.25kg 4/15
Leg press 20kg 4/15
Abs cruncher 15kg 4/15
Toning Tables
Stretches
10 mins bike cool down L5-L2 rpm 80-90

So that works brilliantly. I actually went on the toning tables today. I wasn’t expecting much from them but actually they were really good for my flexibility. They made my legs walk back and forwards even though I was laid down! I really felt a nice stretch at the top of the back of my thighs. Afterwards, when I did my actual stretches on that stretch where you hold you leg behind you; today was the first time I could hold my leg! Before today I couldn’t reach it at all, and while I held the shoe rather than the leg itself, it is still a major accomplishment in myself.

Don’t forget to check out my measurements on the stats page!

Old Jeans

I am currently wearing jeans that I haven’t been able to get on for the last year. They’re done up and everything!

(A bit on the tight side but not uncomfortable or anything)