Eating Less

So, I am back on here for the meantime. So please update your rss feeds! I will be back on my domain very soon though so might be an idea to keep both feeds.

I am so poorly!!!!! I think it is hayfever rather than a cold because I just had Lemsip and it hasn’t done a thing. You hear the word ‘hayfever’ and think it’s something not real but believe me it is horrible, you feel really ill. I keep being determined to go to the gym but when it comes to it I just don’t have the energy. I am so scared of getting out of it again but I have to rest while I am not well, I just hope the pollen count goes down soon!

My eating has been getting so much better lately. Not only in amounts but in quality of food too. I am still struggling at night at the moment, last night I had 2 large bowls of cereal through the night but at least it is not sandwich after sandwich as I don’t have any bread in the house now we’re on school holidays. I am thinking of downloading the Paul McKenna Think Yourself Thin hypnosis audio, as I have heard good things about it and I think hypnosis may help with this night time problem. Has anyone used this? What do you think?

I have just ordered Eating Less: Say Goodbye to Overeating by Gillian Riley as I have heard a lot of good stuff about this book around the web. She also has a stop smoking book and people are saying her methods and theories are in a class of their own. And frankly if it can help me to over come my overeating then it will be worth every penny of the £5.99. I am a bit worried that reading about food will cause me to want to overeat through thinking about it but I am hoping this will not be the case and I will find the book thereputic. I will let you know.

I’m Going On A Cruise

I have a new incentive to lose weight. My friend has just won an overnight stay on a cruise ship and she has asked me to go with her! We sail from Southampton to Brugge (Belguim) overnight, stay in Brugge for the day and then head back. It is in September. I cannot wait. Everything onboard is free except for alcohol, and we plan on finding some mugs nice young men onboard to fund that! I have to buy a nice new posh outfit so I want to lose some weight and look great! I am going to get a new ‘do and everything. I am so excited!

I had another manic weekend. It was good fun, met a new man but again I don’t think anything will come of it *le sigh*. Still, it was a fun time… Monday I was so worn out from the weekend excesses, it wasn’t really tiredness so much as a huge lack of energy. Tuesday I felt a bit better so I went to the gym. I didn’t have as much energy as I would have liked for my workout but I got through it best I could. Today I woke up with the flu so that explains my lack of energy lately. I am hoping it is just a 24-hour thing though so that I can go work out again tomorrow. I have my cruise to get slim for!!

I cancelled my wwonline subscription. It just isn’t working for me at all. I am up and down like a yo-yo. I am trying calorie counting again with weightlossresources.co.uk as I have had more luck with that in the past, so let’s see how I go with that.

I keep buying and eating strawberries, which in itself is not a bad thing. But according to Gillian McKeith they raise your sex drive and I really do not need mine raising any more than it already is! LOL

Meet You In The Kitchen At 3am?

A couple of months ago I talked about my night time eating. It was a problem then and it is still a problem now. This is intensified by the fact that I suffer from insomnia. But I tend to wake up in the night and half-consciously go and eat, go back to bed, wake up a couple of hours later and repeat the behaviour. This can happen between 2-4 times per night and I don’t know why. I am being so good in the day time and yet including my night time eating I am only just maintaining my weight. I have tried everything I can think of to counter this behaviour. It happens more on sleeping tablets than off then but it is a rare night I don’t eat at all.

I was chatting to my cousin about this at lunch time today. She suffers from it too, we both agreed our rate of loss would be better if we could combat this. We have tried telling ourselves not to do it before going to sleep, having only healthy food around, eating before going to bed, having breakfast but nothing solves it. So I was wondering if any of you have suffered with this and overcome it and if you did and have how did you get past it?

I went to the gym again today. I am so glad I am back into working out, it makes me feel so good. I ran for 10 minutes today and found it fairly easy to do so. I felt so great afterwards, and the weight training is making me feel stronger again.

I eat too much bread, out of all my food vices this is by far the worst. I have gotten into the habit in the last week or so of having a one-egg omelette inside a wholemeal pitta bread, coupled with margarine, this becomes quite calorific. Today I decided to forego the pitta and I had the omelette with a side salad I prepared instead and over halved the calories involved. I felt better for it too. My son is on summer holidays now so I do not need to buy bread for the next 6 weeks, so once the bread we have has gone I am going to try not to eat it at all for a while. It might help de-bloat me if nothing else. What is your food vice?

Good Days

I have been thinking about going to the gym for ages; for the last seven weeks that I haven’t been there, in fact. There have been a variety of reasons. First off I stopped going because I was suffering from suspected anaemia, where I literally had no energy at all. Then when I got my energy stores up again I suffered from a sprain on the front of my right calf, meaning I could barely walk at all. Then I got depressed, then insomnia was raging making fitting it in with my responsibilities hard, then depression again and finally just pure laziness.

During times when I could go, I just had no mojo to do it. You know what it is like when you get out of exercising, getting back into it is almost impossible. The mind plays tricks on you, convincing you that you don’t want or need to go. In fact, last week I decided to cancel my membership. That would have taken the decision out of my hands, wouldn’t it?!!

The last couple of weeks I have been trying to get serious about weightloss and everytime I have a good start initially I end up destroying the good work. Take this last week. I lost 6lbs then the next day end up binging. I then binge for 2 days before trying to get back into it. This morning when my son told me he was too embarrassed to have me at his sports day it hit home that I am really not taking this seriously enough. When I was successful at weightloss before it was because I was so totally focused that everything else came a poor second. I never once tried to fit healthy eating and exercise into my life, my life fitted in around those things and I had to get that back.

I am not going to lie, it was my sons comments that gave me the kick up the bum I needed to get back into the gym. But it was the kick up the bum that I needed. For ages I just completely lost my confidence and didn’t feel I could even go in the gym, thats how low I felt about myself. But I was being silly. I rang the gym today before I went in to make sure my membership was okay as I havent been for ages and they were really friendly so it was all good.

I thought I would have completely lost my fitness after seven weeks off but I was surprised at just how much I could do. I walked to the gym, which takes 45 minutes, plus I had a few errands to run, so I classed that as my warm up. Then I did 15 minutes on the XT, at between 8-10 speed. Then I stretched and did 20 minutes on the treadmill with Interval Training, 7 minutes of which were jogging. I then did some weight training. I couldn’t do the full weights I normally do because my arms are killing me from playing too much wii the other day, but I just dropped a weight on each and it was fine. I then did some sit ups, stretches and did my 45 minute walk home.

I have been very good with food today. I have logged everything and it is 9pm and I have 7 ww points left yet, so it is all good. I came out of the gym feeling so euphoric, so much happier and quite a bit more confident, actually. It is really helping me to manage my eating habits too. Early days but hopefully good days.

Excuse moi, for I need a wii!

I am at the tail end of day two. I havent been fantastic but I have been a lot better than I was. I’ve noticed my stomach has reduced a bit in size, my bowel movement have awoken (!) and my appitite is dwindling. This has got to be good. I didn’t weigh in today, I thought I would do it tomorrow hoping to see a bit more of a difference by waiting 2 days.

My mum came over with her wii and we (wii?) played wii sports, how exhausting! Tennis really works you!! I did the fit test and first time got 80 (!!!!) and then 58! I think I have to improve my fitness levels!

I got a letter from my gym saying my direct debit is going up inline with inflation. I think I am going to cancel my membership because I havent been going and I really can’t afford it at the moment. Maybe I’ll pick it up again in a few months. It’s summer and I live by the beach, I really have no excuse!

Getting The Control Back

I am out of control. This week has been horrific for my healthy eating plan. Today culmulated in my devouring all sorts of junk in a futile attempt at fixing my emotional needs. But I was unhealthy to a turning point, I think. I have realised I have to do this, and take it day by day. Only I can gain control again. I remember when I took control the first time around. I did it, I found the strength from nowhere. I DO have it in me to lose weight, even when life is not going my way and it’s about time I took control again.

So for the first time in my life I have written my eating plan BEFORE I eat it. Here it is and yes it is quite stodgy and full of bread but I have to work it so my body can cope with small changes. At this stage if I manage to keep to the calories below it will be a successful day.

Breakfast – 7am

2 wholemeal toast, marg, jam (230 calories)

Morning Snack – 10am

45g Puffed Wheat, Skimmed Milk (200 calories)

Lunch – 12.30pm

Cheese sandwich, banana (350 calories)

Afternoon Snack – 2-3pm

Packet crisps(potato chips), home made veggie soup if needed (120 calories)

Dinner – 5pm

Sweet potato, veg, 2 sausages or a burger (350 calories)

Evening Snack – 7-8pm

Sandwich (250 calories)

This comes to exactly 1500 calories, which is a good amount to consume for my weight. I am also going to go to the gym tomorrow. No excuses.

Starting Again…

I was doing really well with my weightloss and then I developed a really bad infection that put paid to my efforts. However, today is the first day where I feel more healthy (despite feeling a bit fluy) and so here I am with my attempt at yet another fresh start.

I have been really quite bad this past week with food. You don’t want to know the amount of ice cream I consumed yesterday (I blame the sun!). But I *have* been doing a lot of walking again, which seems to off-set too much damage. I think I was about 14.6 when I got ill and last week I was 14.10. Getting on the scales today I convinced myself that I would be out of the 14’s and into the dreaded 15-era again but I was pleased to see I have stagnated at 14.10.

I almost went and joined weightwatchers classes yesterday but didn’t because I really can’t afford to at the moment. I was hoping to go to the gym again today but feeling fluy, and my insomnia being rife, stopped me. I will take my son for a walk down the waterfront later though.

I bought a new pad the other day and I am writing everything down in there. It has tabs on each page so I am writing my weight down in there. So by the time I have used the pad up you will see my weight dwindling down.

Eating At Night

Yesterday my tummy was absolutely killing. I could not work out what the problem was for ages. In the end I worked out that it was because I’d eaten 2 eggs (scrambled) and taken a Xenical. I guess eggs are high fat content! Will remember that for the future.

I didn’t have any bread in the house last night so I thought I would be safe not to eat overnight. In fact, I didn’t have much food in at all, not easily accessible food anyway, plus I ate a big bowl of cereal at about 10pm to stave off the hunger through the night. But this morning I have vague recollections of eating two bowls of cereal in the night and raiding the packet of grated Mozarrella I have in the fridge. This really has to stop. I wonder why it is happening? I am so good all day and then it goes to pot in the night.

Despite this, I lost those two pounds I put on yesterday and I am back at 14.9.

I think I have to just continue to do what I am doing. Watch what I am eating all day and try to be good at night. Eventually it will work out I am sure. It’s not so bad, when I am watching what I am eating in the day time I am eating a lot less calories than I was doing because I was still eating in the night when I was eating lots in the day. I may try and limit the day time calories to 1000, that way I have 500 to play around with in the night.

I am also concerned about my energy levels (who knows if it is all connected). A few weeks ago I had so much energy and now I don’t. Once I walk to the gym I barely have the energy to do a workout at all. I used to walk to the gym and jog in interval training for 35 mins, plus 15 mins on the XT plus a weights session and then walk home. Last week I walked to the gym, managed the XT and 20 minutes walking before a half-arsed attempt at the weights and it killed me. I assumed I’d caught a bug because I had no energy for the rest of the week. I walked to the gym on Monday and managed 3 minutes on the XT before I gave up on cardio altogether, I did manage a weights session though – just! But I was still hungover from the weekend, so I thought that explained that. But today I am just about to get ready for the gym and feel like I have no energy for it at all. I will try though. If this keeps up I may go to the doctor and have some blood tests done.

Creeping Up

My weight is creeping up. I did well with food until just before bed when I gave in. I didn’t go as bad as usual and given I’d walked for 220 minutes yesterday and went to the gym I thought I would be okay, but evidently not as I went up a pound today. I have to really curb my eating!

I don’t have anything strenuous planned today. I am just going to catch up on housework and maybe fill out an application. I do need to get a walk or something in though. I just hope the weather improves as it is raining out!

You know, music has a profound effect on my exercise efforts. Yesterday in the gym I was feeling quite lethargic and going at it on the XT at a pitiful 8.7 but then I Can’t Speak French by Girls Aloud (shh don’t tell anyone!) came on my ipod and I was able to crack it up to a more respectable 10.0! And that in turn helped me to motivate my body into a more strenuous workout once I hit the treadmill. I have started doing ongoing running again instead of HIIT. HIIT is good in terms of fitness levels, I certainly feel knackered afterwards, but it was good to do ongoing running again. I think I am going to concentrate on that for a while now.

Where to go?

I am torn between giving up on this journal now, and seeing it through to the end (until I am at my target weight). I’m not really feeling it these days like I used to. In the beginning I got a lot out of writing about my journey, and the comments you left, but now my weightloss is very much incorporated into my lifestyle rather than my lifestyle being incorporated into my weightloss, as it was in the beginning. This means I do not give my weightloss the thought or attention that I once did because I no longer feel the need to. At the moment I really just eat what and when I feel like it and through all the walking and gym (when I go) I do seem to be slowly dwindling on the scales. The weight is coming off a lot more slowly now but I am fine with that because a)loose skin is a problem and I want to counter that which means slow weightloss and b) I actually have a life now I am not morbidly obese and urgent weightloss is not at the top of my agenda now, I am more interested in living my life and working towards being healthier.

That said, I had another big night last night and am not feeling very healthy right now!

This week I have been sleeping terribly. I have been taking Nytol to help me to sleep, but waking up every hour or so and sub-consciously eating my way through anything immediately edible in the kitchen! It has been driving me to distraction. I have to try to break that habit.

I didn’t go to the gym much this week. I get so tired from not sleeping properly, and the last thing I want to do is go to the gym in those circs. But I need to! I am going to make more of an effort this week, I think.

A friend of mine is doing a 6-mile run for charity and told me yesterday that she has not been training for it at all!

“OMG!”, I exclaimed, “do you know just how far 6 miles is??!”

She says she knows, but I have my birthday celebrations the night before so I will be surprised if she manages it at all to be honest!

I saw another friend last night, a male friend. I used to have a huge crush on him about ten years ago. He was gorgeous. But time has not been kind. He has put on a lot of weight. I was shocked how low his esteem had fallen. Ten years ago you couldnt touch his confidence, no one loved him more than he did! But all night last night he kept going on and on about how fat he had gotten. I told him to go on a diet if it bothers him that much but he wasnt interested. I know if you’re overweight and struggle to diet is one thing, I mean at least you’re trying, but I really don’t understand people who feel their lives are worse off because they are big and yet don’t WANT to put the effort in. Obesity is an interesting psychological disorder.