I’m Going On A Cruise

I have a new incentive to lose weight. My friend has just won an overnight stay on a cruise ship and she has asked me to go with her! We sail from Southampton to Brugge (Belguim) overnight, stay in Brugge for the day and then head back. It is in September. I cannot wait. Everything onboard is free except for alcohol, and we plan on finding some mugs nice young men onboard to fund that! I have to buy a nice new posh outfit so I want to lose some weight and look great! I am going to get a new ‘do and everything. I am so excited!

I had another manic weekend. It was good fun, met a new man but again I don’t think anything will come of it *le sigh*. Still, it was a fun time… Monday I was so worn out from the weekend excesses, it wasn’t really tiredness so much as a huge lack of energy. Tuesday I felt a bit better so I went to the gym. I didn’t have as much energy as I would have liked for my workout but I got through it best I could. Today I woke up with the flu so that explains my lack of energy lately. I am hoping it is just a 24-hour thing though so that I can go work out again tomorrow. I have my cruise to get slim for!!

I cancelled my wwonline subscription. It just isn’t working for me at all. I am up and down like a yo-yo. I am trying calorie counting again with weightlossresources.co.uk as I have had more luck with that in the past, so let’s see how I go with that.

I keep buying and eating strawberries, which in itself is not a bad thing. But according to Gillian McKeith they raise your sex drive and I really do not need mine raising any more than it already is! LOL

Meet You In The Kitchen At 3am?

A couple of months ago I talked about my night time eating. It was a problem then and it is still a problem now. This is intensified by the fact that I suffer from insomnia. But I tend to wake up in the night and half-consciously go and eat, go back to bed, wake up a couple of hours later and repeat the behaviour. This can happen between 2-4 times per night and I don’t know why. I am being so good in the day time and yet including my night time eating I am only just maintaining my weight. I have tried everything I can think of to counter this behaviour. It happens more on sleeping tablets than off then but it is a rare night I don’t eat at all.

I was chatting to my cousin about this at lunch time today. She suffers from it too, we both agreed our rate of loss would be better if we could combat this. We have tried telling ourselves not to do it before going to sleep, having only healthy food around, eating before going to bed, having breakfast but nothing solves it. So I was wondering if any of you have suffered with this and overcome it and if you did and have how did you get past it?

I went to the gym again today. I am so glad I am back into working out, it makes me feel so good. I ran for 10 minutes today and found it fairly easy to do so. I felt so great afterwards, and the weight training is making me feel stronger again.

I eat too much bread, out of all my food vices this is by far the worst. I have gotten into the habit in the last week or so of having a one-egg omelette inside a wholemeal pitta bread, coupled with margarine, this becomes quite calorific. Today I decided to forego the pitta and I had the omelette with a side salad I prepared instead and over halved the calories involved. I felt better for it too. My son is on summer holidays now so I do not need to buy bread for the next 6 weeks, so once the bread we have has gone I am going to try not to eat it at all for a while. It might help de-bloat me if nothing else. What is your food vice?

You Lazy Mare

I was getting back on track yesterday but then I made the mistake of going to the shop before dinner… I only had a twix and some rainbow drops but it set the precedent for the rest of the evening and it ended in distaster. I figured today was a new day.

This morning I discovered that my son (who is just hitting his teens) purposely didn’t invite me to his sports day because he is embarrassed by me. After some investigation I found out it is because of the way I look, because I am fat….

It is interesting because I know I am fat, still technically obese, but considering I have lost so much weight I dont really think of myself as such. But I know I am.

But this is going to spur me on. I mean, I have a lot of reasons for wanting to lose weight – to look good, to be healthy, to be seen as attractive to others… but if nothing else it is worth making my son proud to have me as his mother. I have been good today so I am back on track now. I am about to have a wholemeal pitta for lunch.

I am currently trying to argue with my inner lazy self about whether to go to the gym today. I didn’t have much sleep so am trying to convince myself that I am too tired. Plus my right arm is hurting from playing too much wii the other night, but the other side is saying – you want to make your son proud? Then get to the gym you lazy mare!!

Starting Again…

I was doing really well with my weightloss and then I developed a really bad infection that put paid to my efforts. However, today is the first day where I feel more healthy (despite feeling a bit fluy) and so here I am with my attempt at yet another fresh start.

I have been really quite bad this past week with food. You don’t want to know the amount of ice cream I consumed yesterday (I blame the sun!). But I *have* been doing a lot of walking again, which seems to off-set too much damage. I think I was about 14.6 when I got ill and last week I was 14.10. Getting on the scales today I convinced myself that I would be out of the 14’s and into the dreaded 15-era again but I was pleased to see I have stagnated at 14.10.

I almost went and joined weightwatchers classes yesterday but didn’t because I really can’t afford to at the moment. I was hoping to go to the gym again today but feeling fluy, and my insomnia being rife, stopped me. I will take my son for a walk down the waterfront later though.

I bought a new pad the other day and I am writing everything down in there. It has tabs on each page so I am writing my weight down in there. So by the time I have used the pad up you will see my weight dwindling down.

Yo-Yo

I am in such a fowl mood today, and lately actually, I don’t know what is wrong with me. I am fast losing what I consider myself to have, a laid-back nature. I feel like a yo-yo; one minute down, then up, then down… I guess I will get over it.

I have not let it affect my weightloss plan though. I am well on track. 14.6/202 again today; I was hoping to be down another pound but I can’t expect a loss everyday! I am already half way through this weeks goal of a 2lb loss and I have another 5 days to go until weigh in. My water consumption has reduced the last few days but I have just been shopping and bought some squash so I should be okay now.. (don’t worry, it is sugar free)

My exercise has taken a dramatic drop of late due to the anaemia issue. I am feeling more energetic but am not back to normal just yet. I suspect this will not happen until I get back into the gym though. However, my sleep is knocked out of whack at the moment too, but I picked up some Nytol today so am going to try to get that back on track tonight, and if I am up to it, the gym tomorrow.

I am cooking a lovely stir-fry at the moment. Turkey pieces, thin noodles and lots of veggies in a soy sauce. With lots of herbs and spices. Yummi. Then we will go for a walk on the waterfront as the weather is gorgeous this afternoon.

Recommendations
http://www.physicsdiet.com/FitnessLog.aspx – log your weight every day and it gives you averages of weight, bmi, rate you burn calories etc… it’s a fun tool!

Confidence

I widgetized my sidebar and it messed up the background and looked funny and I couldn’t work out how to fix it so I have taken off my colourful background image. :’( At least it looks clean, I guess.

I went out last night and have vague memories of tequila shots and am feeling rather delicate so the fact that I am writing in here today now is testiment to just how serious I am about wanting to get back on track with losing.

I weighed myself just now and am still 14.9. It is starting to fustrate me a little bit now. I always always lose weight after a big night but I haven’t this week. Probably something to do with the lovely big burger I ate last night (before I went out) but it was delicious! I didn’t dance last night really so did not burn off calories but I did end up walking across the city at 4am on my own to get to my mums house because I lost my friends and had no money on me. I know! I was very scared but luckily nothing happened to me. Actually I ran for a quite a while too. W00t.

When I lost all that weight I felt so confident, I was untouchable. I really felt on top of the world. But the last few months I have started dating again and due to bad choices (when will I learn!?) my confidence has slowly been eroding. It hasn’t helped that due to boy-stress I ended up putting 10lbs on so when I looked in the mirror lately and could visably see those 10lbs around my waistline, my confidence has plummeted further. The last few weeks I have got my mojo back, and my sense of equilibrium, so I have slowly been re-gaining control of what I eat. But the thoughts I have when I look in the mirror these last few days are quite worrying. I haven’t felt this bad about myself (well, my look) since I weighed 19 stone. I really don’t know what I can do about it other than to start losing weight again (don’t bother telling me weightloss on its own won’t bring confidence – it does!) so I need to get really serious about this. REALLY SERIOUS.

Here are my intentions:

• Stick to 1600 calories, or less.
• Do NOT eat during the night. Ever.
• Drink 2-3 litres of fluids every day.
• Some form of exercise every day.
• Gym 3x a week.
• Weigh myself daily.
• Write in my blog daily.
• Keep my food diary updated.

I am also going to the doctors tomorrow for a blood test. I have been feeling wiped out for weeks now and it is not only intefering with my exercise plan but my life in general. I don’t think it can be anything too serious as I have not had it affect my weight but I think it is a good idea to get these things checked out.

Keep Plodding On

I didn’t manage to stay away from the kitchen in the night, but I did try. The fact that the first two times I made myself get a drink only tells me this is a conscious thing. The third time I woke up I had some of my natural greek yogurt with honey (not too bad!) but then I woke up again a fourth time and ended up giving in and finishing the pot of yogurt and more honey (the yogurt turned out to be 600 calories without the honey!!). Plus 3 light digestive biscuits. Oops.

But I have decided to start being honest with myself. None of this stopping writing everything down the minute I fall off the wagon. I got up and put everything into MyNetDiary and it came back at 2500 calories for the whole day. According to that site, eating that amount every day I would still lose 1.1lb per week. This is why this site is beneficial to me. Normally I would consider eating that much a total diaster but it shows me that all is not lost. It also tells me to just keep trying every day and eventually it will sort itself out. I just have to not have things like natural greek yogurt and digestive biscuits on hand at night.

I am going to go shower now and get ready for the gym. I don’t feel up to it at all but I am not giving in. If I only do a weights session that has got to be better than nothing.

Yesterday’s calories: 2500
Yesterday’s exercise: 1 hour of walking
Yesterday’s water: 1litre
Today’s weight: 14.9

More Successful

I ate really badly last night throughout the night but when I woke up this morning I felt nauseous, I had the pre-sick water thing in my mouth, so I didn’t eat a thing until 2pm. I have just logged up my calories on this fantastic new site: www.mynetdiary.com and it has come up at 1600 calories. I also did an hour of walking today as well, so if I manage to not have a midnight binge, I should stay on track with weightloss.

I think I will be alright about not binging tonight. I seem to have begun to lose my appitite today. I guess that is down to feeling sick. I hope I am not feeling wiped out tomorrow and that I can enjoy a workout. Have decided that if my health is still affecting me come Monday I will go have some blood tests (its the panic anxiety sufferer in me worrying – I dont suffer now but the thought processes are still nagging at me).

In non-health related news, this morning I was locked in my apartment! I went to open the Yale lock and the door was jammed. I tried everything to open it and was about to ring the landlord to come out and sort it out when my Daddy arrived randomly and managed to fiddle it open! Phew!

I have updated the site again, it is very colourful. I still need to play around with it and touch it up, and sort out the sidebar but it looks different!

Chasing Pavements

Today is Monday and I feel more motivated than I have in a long long time. I think this has come from seeing myself in the mirror when I was getting ready to go out on Saturday evening and feeling so rubbish about my 9lb weight gain. It is really showing on my waistline. It made me not even want to go out, which is ridiculous. So now I feel in a place where I need to do something about it. I have signed up to WLR for their free three-day trial, again.

I weighed in at 14.9 today, which is the same as I was the last time I wrote in here. So while it is not great, I am not in a worse position than I was then. I am so determined. I just had beans on toast and a couple of glasses of water.

TIP
To ensure you get your quota of water every day, buy a 2ltr bottle of water and refil it every day. Aim to finish it by the end of the evening and you will know you have gotten enough fluids in your body to enable optimum weightloss.

RECOMMENDATION
http://www.fsascience.net/ – This is a nutrition based blog by some top scientist in the field. I have been subscribing to it for many months and it is really full of interesting and helpful information. Check it out.

I am heading off to the gym in a bit. I don’t normally go on a Monday these days because I am still worn out from the weekend but I have a feeling it will make me feel better. I had a lot of sleep last night so I am refreshed – if still tired – so I will give it a go.

Creeping Up

My weight is creeping up. I did well with food until just before bed when I gave in. I didn’t go as bad as usual and given I’d walked for 220 minutes yesterday and went to the gym I thought I would be okay, but evidently not as I went up a pound today. I have to really curb my eating!

I don’t have anything strenuous planned today. I am just going to catch up on housework and maybe fill out an application. I do need to get a walk or something in though. I just hope the weather improves as it is raining out!

You know, music has a profound effect on my exercise efforts. Yesterday in the gym I was feeling quite lethargic and going at it on the XT at a pitiful 8.7 but then I Can’t Speak French by Girls Aloud (shh don’t tell anyone!) came on my ipod and I was able to crack it up to a more respectable 10.0! And that in turn helped me to motivate my body into a more strenuous workout once I hit the treadmill. I have started doing ongoing running again instead of HIIT. HIIT is good in terms of fitness levels, I certainly feel knackered afterwards, but it was good to do ongoing running again. I think I am going to concentrate on that for a while now.